#if you’re someone who enjoys fantasizing about cannibalism… pls know that i’m not kink-shaming you… i just can’t relate

[pollenallergie]

Eddie Munson, but you drank all of his Caprisuns, so now he’s hunting you for sport, à la The Most Dangerous Game, except, when he finds you (and he will find you, he spent the majority of his formative years exploring the woods of Hawkins), he’s not gonna eat you… No, that’s, in his words, “icky.” Instead, he’s gonna give you the most mind-shattering orgasm right there in the woods, and then, when you’re coming down from your high, all distracted and trying to catch your breath, he’s gonna steal some money out of your wallet so that he can go buy himself some more Caprisuns.